Got Milk?
by magno-elf
Summary: Hiei goes out to get a little milk...then chaos comes forth (not to mention that occursed intersection)


As I'm sure most of you already know, demons are among us humans on this world. They are highly skilled in some things that we are not, and highly not skilled in things that we are. Despite our differences, however, humans and demons have learned to live in peace. One of the reasons this is possible is because the humans were never told about the demons. And so, all of the humans living in the apartment building on 10th Avenue were oblivious to the fact that they were living with two demons. Their names were Kurama, and Hiei.  
  
One Sunday morning the two demons Kurama and Hiei were sitting down to a breakfast consisting of eggs, toast, juice, and freshly cut fruit. Usually Hiei was used to having milk with his breakfast. When he asked his friend and partner Kurama where his milk was this morning, Kurama simply replied with a smile and said that they had run out the previous day. Disgusted with Kurama's news of the lack of milk, he demanded to know how this could have happened. Kurama was a bit impatient with Hiei's continuous out bursts such as this one, and snapped at him, saying that if Hiei wanted milk, Hiei should get milk. Hiei pondered this for a moment, and then decided that he was a bit too good for doing simple things such as getting milk. This didn't fool Kurama, however. He knew that Hiei was only trying to cover up the fact that he didn't have the slightest clue as to where one gets things such as milk. So not to let on about Kurama's understanding, he simply began to egg Hiei on, saying that he probably was too scared to get milk. Not liking this, Hiei accepted the challenge before realizing that he had absolutely no idea as to where to purchase groceries. Kurama could sense Hiei's slight frustrating, being the telepathic demon that he was, and quickly jotted down a list of things for Hiei to get while at the market. Along side the list were also directions that would soon prove to be worthless.  
  
Kurama cleared the dishes and told Hiei that he better get going now if he didn't want to get caught in the Sunday morning rush. Although he was hesitant, Hiei got up, kissed Kurama good-bye, and left the quaint apartment building on 10th Avenue and into the confusing, maze-like world.  
  
Everything went alright for the first part. Hiei took a left of Saint Jane's St. and then took a right next to the Barber Shop on First and Second. But when he got to the intersection of 8th and 10th and 3rd and 5th, he began to get slightly confused. Not wanting to appear insane to the people making their ways up and down the sidewalks, he decided to wing it, and went strait. Before he knew it, he was in a very dark town that he had never been before. Hiei was unaware of the human rituals that usually took place in places like the one he was currently in, such as mugging. But this would be no problem for a demon such as Hiei. A man jumped out of nowhere are got Hiei into a headlock. He threatened to kill him unless he handed over his money at once. Hiei saw this as nothing more than a waste of time so he simply flicked his wrist and his back and before the mugger knew it, he was lying on the street un able to move a muscle. Although Hiei handled his first mugging with ease, the next five started to irritate him. So he decided to turn around. He found himself back where he started on the intersection of 8th and 10th and 3rd and 5th two hours later. This time he decided to take a right. He walked and walked. He walked through a cornfield that seemed to go on, both horizontally and vertically. He walked through a forest that was engulfed in thick fog. He walked through a large red and white striped tent and was offered a job to be the man-eating lion, but refused. Finally he reached his thought to be destination.a super market. But this wasn't the kind of super market he was supposed to have gone to. For when Hiei went inside and asked for assistance, he noticed something rather odd. Even though he had never been to a super market before, he always assumed that it would have smelled more fresh, fruitier, and more food like. The smell infesting this place was more of a metallic, radioactive type of smell. So when he asked to clerk where he could find apples, the clerk pointed to a line of Apple Computers that had just been brought in. Hiei examined the large boxes with pieces of glass placed on the front, and thought that Kurama must be crazy if he wanted to eat something this big. But it was on the list, so he had no choice but to buy it. When he asked about the other things on the list, the clerk said that they didn't have any of them. So off Hiei went, back through the circus tent, through the forest that not even a fog monkey could see in, and back through the very wide and tall cornfields to the intersection of 8th and 10th and 3rd and 5th, all the while carrying this huge computer on his back. He had one more try, this time. He would go left. So, on he went. He walked down the sidewalk all the while being handed pamphlets for real estate and being sprayed by perfume. Then, approximately five hours later form when he started, he saw the huge red lights saying, "Super Market". Hiei jumped for joy, nearly dropping his newly purchased $1000 computer. He walked through the parking lot and found it difficult to maneuver his body around all of the cars racing in and out of the parking lot. He finally got to the front door with a few bruises, but nothing too serious.  
  
Once inside the market, Hiei noticed that everyone was using these large, metal crates with wheels on them to put their items in. Hiei was perplexed by this, but still didn't want to be considered un cool, so he took one of the metal crates and inspected it to see where the on/off switch was. Finding none, he assumed that that particular one was broken. He then inspected all of them, and found that an on/off switch didn't exist. He decided that he would have to operate the crate manually, although he had a little trouble seeing past the handlebars.  
  
Hiei stopped that cart in the produce are first. He took out the list that Kurama had made for him and read "one head of lettuce". Hiei looked up and saw the many people around him. He decided that this was a rather odd request from Kurama, but it was on the list, so it had to be done. He walked up to a man inspecting the bananas and asked kindly, "is your name lettuce??" The man looked at him as if he was crazy and walked away in a hurry. Hiei soon had asked everyone if their names happened to be lettuce, and coincidentally, all of the people had quickly left the produce area. Stumped by this reaction, he thought to himself how Kurama expected him to get a head from someone who's name was lettuce when there was no one named lettuce around. He decided to skip that one and went on to the next item. "Cereal". Hiei went to the cereal aisle and was quickly overwhelmed by the huge amounts of cereal that were available. Kurama had not specified was kind of cereal he wanted, so, not wanting to let Kurama down, he picked out one of each of the many cereals of the many shelves. Finally he was on the last item on the list. "Milk" Hiei went to the Dairy section, his basket overflowing with cereal and an Apple Computer. He stopped when he got to the milk. He saw that there was more than one kind of milk. There was skim, 1%, 2%, chocolate, strawberry, soy, whole, and slightly yellow that didn't smell right. There were also many different kinds of packaging. There were plastic cartons and cardboard ones. And they all came in many different sizes. He had no choice but to get one of each. Even if that meant having to smell the yellow milk on the way back home.  
  
Finally at the check out line his totally bill was $2,876.56. (He got charged for the computer again). Hiei knew that he couldn't take the metal cart with wheels with him, so he loaded all of his cereal and milk, and his Apple Computer onto his back, and started the long walk back to his apartment on 10th Avenue all the while thinking of some way how he was going to tell Kurama about not getting the lettuce head.  
  
Then at 11:00 pm, exactly twelve hours from when he had left, he arrived back home. He dropped all of the cereal and milk and the computer in front of Kurama who was sitting on the couch reading a magazine with a cup of tea. Hiei collapsed out of breath onto the chair across form Kurama, and Kurama said, "I was beginning to wonder where you were" Hiei then all of a sudden realized the Kurama was drinking tea. He said, "Kurama.I thought you always drank milk with your tea.where did you get milk?" "Oh, " said Kurama with a slight chuckle, "it turns out that we were never actually out of milk to begin with! It was hidden in the fridge behind the Jell-O pudding I made. So, I guess your trip was really unnecessary." Hiei just looked at Kurama with a black stare. Then he got up, grabbed one of his many milks laying on the floor, and took a large gulp. Then realized a little too late that it was the yellow milk that had a fowl smell to it, and spit it out. 


End file.
